Super Exciting Conscious Parenting Summit

YEAH the *free* Conscious Parenting Summit hosted by Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes-Monarch of the Raw Food World has begun, but only just so there is still time to access the first interview by Ingrid Bauer on elimination communication. Click HERE to sign up and to listen to Matt and Angela explain what it's all about. It is seriously worth checking it out and signing up to access each of the main interviews (as well as all the bonus interviews and material) from the 16 inspiring speakers from around the world. They will be speaking on topics such as conscious conception, healthy pregnancy, natural birthing, vaccinations, children's nutrition, breastfeeding, cosleeping and more ....and each interview is available for 24 hours. 

Here is a look at the 16 experts on conscious parenting that are involved in this summit:

You can also read more about each one on the conscious parenting website here.

Angela Stokes Monarch with her gorgeous daughter Oria

(see her blog RawReform here.)

We Were Made For This

This is a wonderful piece by the inspirational writer Clarissa Pinkola Estes for these challenging times.

You Were Made For This

By Clarissa Pinkola Estes

My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people. 

You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.

I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.

Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.

In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.

We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.

What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.

Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do. 

There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.

The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours. They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

This piece by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D and author of the best seller Women Who Run with the Wolves is just one of a collection of inspirational resources available at www.WantToKnow.info/inspirational. While looking for images i also came across this great blog post: What would you attempt to do if you could not fail?  and this one on soul contracts.

and just because i love it : 

Networking Food

Networking Food is a short documentary being made by my brother, Ben Mann, about alternative food sources in London. Through it he aims to show how ensuring a fairer, sustainable food system, where people throughout the world have access to healthy food, requires reforming the way we produce, distribute and consume food in the UK- a country at the heart of this unjust and unsustainable food system. He feels that London is the perfect showcase for such a system: a handful of supermarkets dominate the food system, an incredible amount of food is wasted everyday, and fresh, healthy food has become the privilege of the wealthy, while those worse off have only access to low quality, fatty and sugar-rich food.  But London is also the city in which community organisations are shaping alternatives.

Passing Clouds, Dalston, London, home on sundays to the People's Kitchen -food by the people, for the people - using food surplus that would otherwise go to waste. See a blog post about it here.

Networking Food tries to depict a picture of these realities, from city farms to consumer co-operatives, farmers’ markets, community kitchens and  many creative ways in which communities around the city create synergies to reduce dependency on the corporate food system, and produce, distribute and consume food in a sustainable, ecological, and socially just way.

The People's Kitchen Dalston, London

We need to step up and get involved in this change. If you want to have your say go to the Networking Food blog

Good Friends

 Cheesy but true. Thank you to all those friends who are always there for me X

Commemorative Street Art

"Punks not dead" 

This cool street art by stencil artist Martin Whatson was part of the T&J Art Walk that visited Oslo this august. Martin joined some of the world’s leading contemporary street artists who came to show their support for Human Rights Watch and to honour the victims of the terror of July 22. They created memorial murals that decorated the facades of nine central buildings in the city covering more than 600 square meters with high quality art for everyone to enjoy. "The team of geezers include names such as Logan Hicks, D*Face, The London Police, Faile, Will Barras,Shepard Fairey, Fenx, Galo and Martin Whatson".See the video here or more here on the T&J blog or have a walk around town to see it for yourself!

Without knowing about the Art Walk in Oslo i stumbled on this piece of street art in Grønland, a sad reminder of what happened here in July.

all the more reason to look at things from this perspective 

"Lost Hope" Martin Whatson, part of the august 2011 Art Walk

Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves

“If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first

examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be

changed in ourselves.” Carl G. Jung

I was drawn to reading Naomi Aldorts book "Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves" 

a long time before i actually held a copy in my hands.  Somehow I knew this book was an important read when i came across

it in The Mother Magazine, 

but now i realise it is an essential one. I have at times been really struggling with my role as a mother and with feelings of failure when it comes to dealing with my 3 year olds tantrums or 'antisocial' behaviour such as biting or kicking. She has reminded me to take a step back from the behaviour encouraging me to look at my stuff and

to really listen to my son to find out what the real need is rather than storming in with the No's and the don'ts. 

I've found that my relationship with my son is improving due to the practical advise, especially of the S.A.L.V.E technique (see below), 

but of course it takes work, a whole heap of work. I know however from the improvements that it is worth it.

By gently and respectfully parenting our children,

listening to them and trusting them, it strengthens our relationships and allows them to be the best they can be and that they already are. 

 Naomi Aldort- 

"How do we connect kindly with a child who is hitting, grabbing or making a mess? In the normal course of events most of us are looking for a way to “stop” whatever is going wrong. Yet, stopping the child’s expression does not stop the child’s feelings and does not eliminate the cause; it only hurts and confuses the child. Our purpose therefore is not to stop the child’s expression (if safe), but to understand why he must be doing it so we can attend to the cause. Even if not safe, stopping her is only a temporary measure and the cause must be addressed; we must connect and find solutions to her underlying need.

When a child is screaming or hitting, he must have failed to get his needs met in any other way because we have not responded to his subtler cues. There is no reason to feel guilty for not understanding a child; only to embrace our humanity and move on. We are learning to communicate and listen better, so we can understand the child before he is desperate. The following is a formula that will help you transform your habitual reactions into love and understanding:

COMMUNICATION S.A.L.V.E.

Raising Our Children, is indeed Raising Ourselves. To care for the child, you must rise out of your own old repetitive thoughts planted in your mind long ago. Gaining freedom from the tyranny of old thoughts is the first step of the SALVE formula:

S - Silent Self-inquiry

A - Attention on your child

L - Listen to what your child is saying or to what his actions may be indicating

V - Validate your child’s feelings and the needs he expresses without adding or dramatising

E - Empower your child to resolve his own upset by getting out of his way and trusting him

Don't just take my word for it or for that matter Naomis, get her book, dip into her website 

www.naomialdort.com 

and give it a try. 

New International Mother's Group in Oslo

So i've finally set up the international mother's group that i've been meaning to establish for a while- Freya's Oslo International Mother's Group. It was something i was looking for when i first moved to Oslo and didn't find so i just felt this second time around with baby number two that i should make it happen. On posting my first meeting i discovered that while busy in the early days with baby Sebastian The International Mother and Baby Group Oslo was established offering a similar thing, oops. Obviously great minds think alike and i do think the more opportunities the merrier, i hope they do too! So if you are in Oslo and feel like meeting up with other mother's with or without your children then take a look at these pages and come along to meet some new people. I really look forward to meeting you.

update 2012 My group has a new name: Freya's International Mothers/Fathers Group

So small yet so culmulatively powerful

"The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” William James

My mum, apart from being the most wonderful person and the most fabulous mother anyone could ever wish for, is also a very talented NLP/life coach, trainer, consultant and educator. She has a wonderful website that advertises what she does and recently she's added a blog. I love her recent blog post and so with her permission i have included it below:

www.carolinemanncoaching.co.uk/blog

How debilitating is your habit?

March 10th, 2011

Watching the snow falling softly, silently – a few flakes at first, growing in numbers until it was snowing heavily, blotting out the sky in a hushed, swirling, mesmerising dance.  Visibility was reduced to a few feet in front of my nose.  As flakes came to settle on my gloved hands I marvelled at each perfect crystal, knowing that each one was unique in structure. Softly innocent, silently innocuous.  Each flake was so tiny and yet, in combination with others, held such immense power to bring our lives to a standstill.

So miniscule and yet so cumulatively powerful as to transform our lives.

Remembering that spell before Christmas, in England, when it snowed persistently and relentlessly until airports were closed, flights cancelled and roads across Britain brought to a standstill.  It caused unprecedented chaos to travellers and would-be-travellers – people camping at airports until flights resumed, others incaserated in their vehicles on blocked motorways for days.

It was not all negative of course – it depended on your viewpoint.  The thick snow was a delight for children and the young at heart who spent happy hours tobogganing and skiing down any slope or hill they could find.

So miniscule and yet so cumulatively powerful as to transform our lives – for good or ill.

This power of small things to potentially immobilise us, set me thinking….

Clients often come to me saying that they feel stuck in their lives and held back by something – although they often don’t know just what it might be.  Sometimes, however, they know exactly what the imprisoning “snowdrift” is – a negative emotion, a lack of confidence, a persistent way of doing something which is detrimental to them in some way – but they feel powerless to be able to change and move forward.

The challenge is that we are all creatures of habit.  We are programmed to remember and repeat what we have learnt.  Human behaviour is almost completely made up of small habits or patterns of behaviour (snowflakes with the power to accumulate into impassable snow drifts).  A habit, after all, is only a small action that we repeat, sometimes in combination with other small actions, until it becomes our default way of acting in certain situations.  What starts as a conscious action becomes, with repetition, an unconscious part of who we are and how we act.  What was once gently fluid is now rigidly set and potentially hard to shift.  On the positive side, habits allow us to do things without having to think about them.  They free us up to make repetitive actions easily and without conscious thought so that we have time to focus on more interesting things – new things.  The draw back is when we become aware that they are not serving us any more, in fact they are holding us back, and we want to change them.  Then we discover that they have grown cumulatively very powerful and we are potentially imprisoned in their grip.  Dr Johnson (1790 – 1784) summed it up perfectly, to my mind, when he said:

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken”.

“First we form habits, and then our habits form us.  Before we know it, we see the world only from our own perspective.  When that happens we begin to stagnate” – Anon

One of my clients had not been able to have holidays abroad with her family because of her phobia of flying.  Even the mere thought of checking in at the airport would render her breathless with a severe panic attack.  Another client kept thinking he must be stupid which consolidated over time into an emotional block to learning anything new and having panic attacks before exams to the point that he was refusing to sit any.  Yet another, a senior partner in a law firm, was rendered literally speechless when thinking about standing up and giving the end of year presentation to the firm.  At some level there was once a reason for the habit to have formed in the first place and had since been perpetuated, at a subconscious level, gaining in strength with each repetition.  None of these habits of thought serve these individuals any more – they are very real, immobilising snowdrifts.

All is not lost – we are not condemned to be at the mercy of our self-destructive habits indefinitely.  The snow plough can come to the rescue (find a good therapeutic coach!); the airport reopens, the cars once more drive down the motorway.  We can perform Houdini-esque escapes from the chains.  The first step is to wake up and be aware that we are imprisoned and then we can do something about it.  The key to changing any unwanted behaviour or habit is not found in our muscles but in our innermost thoughts.

We can choose to replace these old habits of thought that no longer serve us and choose to think differently.  As with an individual snowflake which is unique in its structure – each habit is unique and we can learn to identify its triggers and its many strands in order to understand it, melt it, dissolve it, and replace it with a fresh new habit that is supportive to our goals and aims in the current chapter of our lives.

My client with the phobia of flying now happily flies to new exciting destinations, with her family and friends, for holidays.  The student who was incapacitated by blocks to learning is now proudly getting “A” grades.  The lawyer who was frozen to ineffectiveness in public speaking went on to get a standing ovation.

Life changes when we change how we choose to think about things – one step or one habit at a time.  Change the little habits in our lives and the big things magically and effortlessly transform.

So miniscule and yet so cumulatively powerful as to transform our lives.