Time to write, time to dream, time to be the mother i would like to be! Things run on and as i look back i realise that although many dreams of how i wanted to be as a mother had to change due to energetic circumstances and in some ways i could say therefore fell short of my ideals, many things have by far surpassed anything i thought possible and i am proud oh so proud to be saying that. I struggled with M.E for many years before having children, struggling to function in a normal way and needing endless recovery time (as just one part of the experience) yet i didn't want to wait to 'get better' fully before having children because i felt at the time that this may never happen or it may take a looong time, i also had no idea about what was involved...selfish probably but wow what a journey and one i would not change for the world. When i so easily became pregnant in the first month i was seriously thrilled but i also panicked about exactly how i would cope and then for sure when i had my second that i would not make it. Throughout the last 4 years i have been so stretched emotionally and physically (and especially having moved abroad when my eldest son was 4 months old taking away any support network which is so vital) that sometimes i thought it was not possible to go on, yet i've done it/am doing it and along the way i have learnt so much (wow what a serious spiritual lesson and learning about oneself and others having children is) and the boys have been such a joy. I've also had some serious opportunities to heal further namely being intuitively led into a high raw food way of eating, being the beneficiary of some incredible, infact mind blowing Life Alignment Therapy from my incredible mum ( i love her recent blog post) and some other wonderful healers including the beautiful Alice and really recently finding that the natural approach to healing my severe Thyroid issue was as simple as the raw food diet with high doses of Dr.Vogels Kelp tablets, this has taken the edge off the raw, mind numbing dragging myself through the day exhaustion and the horrendous depression and anger that came with it. I am seriously happy and healthy right now and i have two bright happy boys, I am doing it, i am being a mum with all the energetic demands that that makes and i realise that i am well, i am coping and although there are a few things that i have had to compromise due to my energy levels i feel that is is pretty darn amazing to be here and to be coping so well. I am a full time mum right now and that is just such bliss, i feel very lucky to be doing exactly that ( i wonder what throwing work into the mix would be like) and i hope i have the courage to keep going against the Norwegian system by keeping my children at home for longer than the norm. There is a fabulous book that helps to inspire one to do just this: "Life Without School: The Quiet Revolution" (or on amazon here)- i am slowly working my way through the whole Mother Magazine book list which is just a blissful journey as is the bi monthly magazine!Motherhood is a blissful, mind expanding, stretching and life changing experience and golly i love those boys to bits and pieces:
Theodore and Sebastian July 2011
“If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits”.