Thursday, 25 March 2010

Perception and abundance

The following is adapted from Ptaahs Morning song:

"Love is the truth of who you really are"

There is no difference in the energy of abundance and lack. That is the grand truth. The difference is in our perception. When we are focusing on lack and need and have not, the underlying emotion is fear. A simple way to transform this and your life is to give space to that child like part of you and stop focusing on the have not. For as long as you perceive yourself in need, you are in a place of fear. Instead allow yourself to embrace all that you would have and would like to have in your life as though you already have it and give thanks for it.

This is a beautiful song of gratitude and abundance that you can sing every day, but do feel free to create your own tune or indeed your own words. You may feel uncomfortable with some or all of it simply because you might not be used to praising or thanking yourself, even if you can happily do so with others, but do stick with it if you can:

"From the god/goddess of my being
I give forth thanks
For the love that i am,
for the love in my life and the love that surrounds me,
thank you.
Thank you for the miracle of life that i am and
thank you for the miracle of life i see reflected all about me.
Thank you for this perfect body, my health and well being,
thank you.
Thank you for the abundance that i am and
thank you for the abundance i see reflected all about me.
Thank you for the riches and the richness of my life and
thank you for the river of money which flows to me and through me,
thank you.
Thank you for the excitement and adventure of the millions of wondrous possibilities,thank you.

Thank you for the wonderment and thank you for the joy.
Thank you for the beauty and harmony.
Thank you for the peace and tranquility.
Thank you for the laughter and thank you for the play.
And thank you for the privilege of serving and sharing
the gift that i am.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

We are each one of us totally fabulous and worth every minute of gratitude and on that note i would like to thank all of you dear readers for reading my blog and for stopping by once in a while.

We are all fabulous if we could only realise it.  

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Birthday blessings, treats and rituals

It's my birthday today and already i feel very loved. My husband was up early before work with my son preparing a feast for breakfast, accompanied by cards and presents, a tradition in both of our families and one that we both love. There is something very special about creating rituals and making an occasion out of things, even in the smallest ways, i think it is incredibly important to do.

This evening i am having a few friends over for supper for whom i am making a huge vegetable curry and some Vegan Brownies with icecream, the recipe for the Brownies i have included below courtesy of my sister in law who originally made these for me at her birthday in february. That shows what a total darling she is. They aren't raw and have some quite hefty amounts of sugar in them but they are totally delicious!

Aneth's Vegan and Gluten free Brownies


200g dark chocolate

1 tin of coconut milk

2 cups of brown sugar 

4 eggs

2 teaspoons of vanilla essence

2.5 cups flour (gluten free)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

2 teaspoons baking powder

Melt the chocolate with the tin of the coconut milk in a pan. Stir well so that they mix together and the chocolate doesn't burn.

Sieve the flour, spices and baking powder into a bowl and then add the chocolate/coconut milk whisking until everything is mixed. In a seperate bowl whisk together the eggs, sugar and vanilla essence and then add this into the main mixture.

Line a baking tray with baking paper or use muffin cases and pour the batter in. Bake at 180 degrees for about 30-35 minutes. Let the cake cool, then cut into squares or remove from the muffin cases.


No matter if there is no particular occasion to celebrate today. Feel free to make an occasion out of each day.

Monday, 22 March 2010

The Gift of Life

Milly Douglas-Pennant, Manolo and Lucia
Photo: Andrew Crowley

"Without a double lung transplant young mother, Milly Douglas-Pennant, a cystic fibrosis sufferer, will not live to see her baby daughter, Lucia, grow up." Elizabeth Grice

This following article from the Telegraph Newspaper is about Milly Douglas Pennant, a family friend and an incredible person. It just puts everything into perpective:

Who will give Milly the gift of life? By Elizabeth Grice

The mother propped up on pillows with her baby by her side is waiting for someone to die. Breathing is difficult, even with the help of nasal oxygen, so her sentences are short, punctuated by quick, sharp coughs. Her hospital bag has been packed for six months. Her husband has given up his job to care for her and their one-year-old daughter, Lucia. Her parents are ready for the telephone call that will summon her to Harefield Hospital for a double lung transplant operation. But as the days creep by, Milly Douglas-Pennant's bright spirit, and the energy she has poured into defying cystic fibrosis (CF) for so many years, is becoming harder to sustain. Doctors say her medical situation is now "desperate".

"I've just got to hold on," she says. "I don't feel excited about it any more. It is so monotonous. The waiting. I wonder how I can possibly get through it… how long it will be. There are times when I get depressed. Other days, I think I can do it."

"I find it hard to imagine being able to do normal things. The more time goes by like this, the harder it is to remember. Manolo [her Spanish husband] will paint a scene for me. 'Imagine we are walking along a beach', he'll say. I can't imagine walking along a beach and not being breathless. Manolo has probably forgotten what normal life is. I worry about him if it all goes wrong. I worry about what he's going to go through. I think of time stretching out ahead of me, just stretching out."

She is still hopeful, but those around her see that she is sinking for want of a transplant donor and they feel helpless. Lucia is the joy of all their lives. The fear no one mentions, underlying everything, is that Milly, 29, may not see her grow up.

Until her pregnancy, Milly had never allowed cystic fibrosis, a genetic disorder affecting the lungs and digestive system, to get in the way of what she wanted to do. The progressive disease causes the lungs and pancreas to secrete a thick mucus that blocks passageways and, over time, irreparably damages the lungs. With drugs, physiotherapy and nutritional supplements, Milly had lived a "normalish" life. She travelled the world, bungee-jumped, lived in Spain as a teacher and fell in love.

When Manolo Garcia Falcon, a pilot, asked Milly's father for her hand in marriage, as he believed was the English custom, Paddy Douglas-Pennant replied: "Yes, but only if you look me in the eye and tell me you totally understand what you are taking on."

What he meant was that Milly, then in her mid-twenties, had already lived longer than many people with cystic fibrosis. Fifty years ago, children with CF rarely survived beyond six. Now, as treatment advances, more than half live past the age of 31 and many beyond 40. Milly's elder sister, Anna, had died of the same condition, aged only 14, in 1993. The family was further devastated in 2004 when Milly's younger brother, Johnnie, a gifted boy who suffered from dyspraxia, drowned, aged 17. (Dyspraxia is a motor learning disability that can affect movement and coordination because brain messages are not properly transmitted to the body.)

With Latin intensity, Manolo assured his future father-in-law: "It is my destiny." They married in 2006 and, two years later, she became pregnant. Pregnancy makes big demands on women with CF, though some come through it without too much difficulty. Milly became so weak and breathless, she could hardly stand. "Her batteries were so low, says her mother, Sarah. "We did not realise quite what a risk the pregnancy was."

Lucia had to be delivered by Caesarean section nine weeks early – a prematurity that almost cost her life. But the birth didn't arrest Milly's decline. In August 2009, she almost died from CO₂ poisoning because her lungs were unable to expel used air. It was a big setback, from which she never fully recovered. In September, she was put on Harefield Hospital's waiting list for a double lung transplant. At Christmas, air began to leak from her lungs into her chest wall, requiring major surgery. Again, she almost didn't pull through.

"When they first mentioned a transplant, I was horrified that they thought I was ill enough,Milly says. "For two months, I fought it. Then one morning in April I woke up and was absolutely sure that I wasn't going to get better till I had a transplant. I felt it couldn't come soon enough."

The Douglas-Pennants converted one end of their Georgian home in Wiltshire into accommodation for Milly, Manolo and Lucia. With the meticulousness of a nurse, Sarah sets out her daughter's arsenal of drugs and syringes on a large tray. This current phase of her medication, morning and evening, takes an hour to prepare and more than an hour to administer. "It takes all day just for Milly to have a day," says her mother.

"I have a high-calorie diet, but I still lose weight," Milly says. "I burn up so many calories just staying alive. I'd happily never eat again, but I'm permanently trying to force down a morsel of food. I'd love an apple sometimes, but I think, I'd better have a cake.' "

Her mother notices how loose her clothes have become and how she has developed the walk of a person too weak to bear her own weight.

One of the many ironies of Milly's situation is that she had fiercely longed to be a mother and yet is not strong enough to dress, wash or feed Lucia. "I do nothing for her,she says. "They bring her to me and put her down on my bed."

Despite her weak hold on life, she does not regret deciding to have a child. "Even knowing what I know now, I would do the same to have Lucia. I might have been heading for a big downturn anyway. We will never know.

"Maybe if I had known I was going to end up like this, I might have wanted a surrogate mother to carry the baby. Is that possible, or is it just something that happens in magazines?"

Milly has a big circle of friends. Two of them have started a rolling email campaign to encourage people to register as organ donors – currently the subject of an NHS initiative.

"It was born out of a desire to do something for Milly," says Katie Elliot, 29, "and to make people aware of the pressing need for organs. To register is such a small but potentially life-changing step. It takes less than two minutes. Most people say they are in favour but few do anything about it.

"It is unbearable to watch someone you love suffer. Despite her illness, Milly is an irresistible character. She has such a non-defeatist attitude. Before this, you would never have realised she had cystic fibrosis. She is very strong and determined – that is why she's had the life she's had. For someone as nurturing as she is, being a mother is paramount to her. Lucia has brought so much joy.

"But no one is under any illusions. We all know how precarious her situation is and how badly she needs these lungs, Kate adds.

It is humbling to see the Douglas-Pennants fortitude and practicality. Already battered by tragedy, they face the possible loss of their third and last child. Yet they are dedicated not just to keeping Milly alive long enough to receive new lungs but to improving organ-donor rates for everybody.

They contacted Reg Green, the organ-donor campaigner, after reading in these pages last month how his son Nicholas's organs had transformed the lives of seven people. Mr Green advised them to tell The Daily Telegraph about Milly's urgent need for a lung donor. Although 90 per cent of the population supports organ donation, 40 per cent of families say no at the critical moment and only 25 per cent sign up to the Organ Donor register. Sarah Douglas-Pennant says that, although there are now transplant coordinators in all major hospitals, not enough is being done in intensive-care units to get the message across.

Because she could not face the idea of donating her elder daughter's organs – Anna was too ill for a transplant – Sarah understands the deep inhibitions some relatives feel when they have just lost a loved one. "After Anna had suffered so much with cystic fibrosis, I could not bear for her to have anything else done to her. But if I had been skilfully told about the huge bonus to the recipients in a way I could have related to, maybe I would have conceded.

"It is a high calling, to be able to deal honestly, tactfully and truthfully with grieving relatives. It requires very careful training as well as a deal of natural charm in the person making the approach."

Now she sees the gift or organs as potentially the one good thing to come out of a terrible time. "While they are alive, you are trying to protect this precious person. But the minute they are dead, they are gone. The body is a shell. You have no need of that shell. But others may have."

Dr Paul Murphy, the Leeds consultant who is leading the Department of Health's current campaign to raise organ-donation rates by 50 per cent within five years, says family consent is the biggest obstacle to donation in Britain. In approaching relatives sensitively, timing is vital, he says. "There is no point in broaching donation if the family has not accepted the inevitability of death, and those who make the request must have the time that families need."

He believes donation should ideally be based on the wishes of the patient and presented as part of end-of-life care. "For too long we have apologised for bringing up donation with a grieving family. We have presented it as something we inflict on them rather than as an opportunity for a family to realise the most honourable wishes of a dying loved one.

"Clinical staff need to be more sensitive about when is the right time to ask a family, and be trained to use the right words and have the right knowledge, but perhaps we all have a responsibility to make it easier for our families – by getting on to the NHS Organ Donor Register and by telling them that we have done so."

For Milly herself, the issue is reduced to its essence. The lungs she is waiting for will be inert organs taken from someone already dead but they could transform her life. "I don't think about the poor person who has to die. I just think of the lungs I need. I get through each day, each week. It's not living. It's existing."

To join the NHS Organ Donor Register go to

Life is precious

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Hugs- we all need them

HUGS:  Simple to give and just heaven to receive.
I think we all need hugs every day.
We simply need physical contact to feel alive and happy and when we receive or give a hug something opens up inside each of us and breathes a huge sigh of relief.

Hug away it is free and it is heavenly!

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Be good to yourself

These days i feel truly blessed despite the huge and often difficult shifts that i feel i am currently experiencing. I feel very looked after by spirit and by wonderful people in my life.

On this theme last week while visiting Bjørg Jeppersen the wonderful Life Alignment practitioner here in Oslo, she told me about a new health food shop in Oslo called Supernature. She said that they had a fantastic range of products and they actually dowse for products to see if they are right for you and encourage you to choose products based on your inner wisdom i.e the ones that you feel drawn to or resonate with rather than the ones you might choose for other (intellectual) reasons (Super Nature, Øvre Slottsgate 4, 0157 Oslo, just a couple of metres down from Stortinget t-bane.)
 I went to visit them yesterday as i needed to stock up on a few things and i was frankly intrigued. I met Guri who works there, who seemed like a wonderful warm angel, so knowledgeable, helpful and beaming with light and healing. It also helped that she gave me a lovely cup of tea and some raw chocolate and i was reminded of my time in India and Nepal where in each shop you went into you were greeted with Chai and a whole ritual which usually ended up with you buying something simply because you felt cared for.
They have many raw foods here as well as other health foods, skincare ranges, books and a whole host of other lovely things. But wow they do sell the most delicious smelling and feeling Organic wildcrafted skincare range called ISUN Organic . It's Oslo so it seems like crazy prices for the skin care products, but actually when you compare it to UK prices and really look at what you are getting it doesn't seem to bad.....see the powers of persuasion i used on myself.

I had been searching for another natural cosmetic range because i'd started reacting to the Dr.Hauschka mascara that i'd been using, perhaps because it was just a little too old, but hey i also wanted a change as i felt there were things that could be improved on. I generally only use mascara and a little foundation and perhaps some eye shadow too if i am going out as my skin is so sensitive and i don't like wearing much. Here they had a range of 100% natural cosmetics called Inika Cosmetics which seemed perfect and just what i had been looking for. On their home page they say that they are "One of the only makeup brands to have all products certified vegan or certified organic or both, Inika, which means “small earth” in Hindi, is also 100 per cent Halal and cruelty free and the brand is committed to environmental awareness." "Unlike some “natural” brands, Inika products are guaranteed to be completely free from harsh petrochemicals, fillers, talc, bismuth oxychloride, GM ingredients, parabens, preservatives, mineral oils, phthalates and fragrances. All products are also non-comedogenic, which means they won’t clog the pores, and are so gentle that women who have suffered allergies and sensitivities to cosmetics for years have been able to wear Inika without any reaction."

Yeah when my account has recovered i may well go back and get an Inika mascara to try....hmm and maybe a few other things.

Guri advised me and also dowsed for some products for my son, as his sleep is still very broken at night, which was really helpful. It was just a lovely experience all in all. I also loved the fact that that morning i had been listening to Deva Premals Oneness Moola mantra on You Tube which is wonderfully expansive and calming and they had it playing in the shop when i went in, i love that kind of synchronicity.

Today i have been listening to Deva Premal &Mitens concert - Lokah Samasta and Deva Premas "OM NAMO BHAGAVATE", they are so beautiful.

What they are singing in the Lokah Samasta means :

"May all beings be happy. May all my thoughts, words and actions contribute in some way to the happiness of all beings"

Update on the Inika products march 17th 2010: I naughtily went back to Supernature for their Inika Mascara today as i couldn't wait. They however were awaiting a new batch to restock, but they let me take a sample mascara home with me, in brown, not my usual colour but .....i love it, the colour, the feel of it, everything. It is light, looks fabulous and doesn't crumble onto your face witihin a few hours and is so easy to remove. I am a big fan already!

Friday, 12 March 2010

Happy Times

So my husband and i went out last night together for the first time in well over 6 months. That really is quite a mad length of time when you think about it. But thank heaven for baby sitters when they do appear and luckily in the next few weeks we have two more nights out booked in yipeeeeeee.
I can't tell you how lovely it was. He arranged it all and i had no idea where we would be going or what we would be doing until we arrived, i only knew where and when i should meet him. He took me to a wonderful Thai restaurant with truly delicious food. It took us both back to our honeymoon in Bali (June 2007) where we ate food like that every day, in fact our honeymoon can be charted by the delicious meals that we indulged in wherever we went fresh, light and cheap cheap cheap (and the massages,  aaaah the bliss of it all).

We chatted for hours which is something we haven't done for ages. I mean we talk all the time but there is always some distraction or we are konking out after a long day or it's in and around things we have to do. It is just very different to talk together when you are out and sharing a meal.

We then walked across the city, something that i adore, walking through the streets at night taking different routes and seeing things you might not normally see by taking the most direct route. We came across a gallery of wonderful paintings and a huge health food shop called Røtter in St Hanshaugen that stays open until 9pm every night. Here we bought some raw vegan chocolate brownies yuuuuum and the guy working there gave me a whole heap of help about alternative health clinics to approach for work. One of them was called the Frøya clinic, how appropriate is that!!

We ended up at a pub called the Underwater pub in St Hanshaugen, which was cool enough in itself, but on thursdays (and tuesdays) opera singers from the opera school, or like last night opera singers who are visiting Oslo or who usually work in Oslo, just come and sing. It was incredible, they were so good and it was just such a wonderfully different experience. Read a review of the place here.

The Under Water Pub, Dalsbergstien 4,0170 Oslo. Contact Tel: 22 46 05 26

Yeah for lovely husbands and for babysitters. I had forgotten just how wonderful it is to go out in the evening and on a date with my husband. Of course i had been longing for it but now more than ever i realise just how important it is to do it as much as possible.

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Spiritual Wisdom and Guidance

I seem to have been guided to start doing my own shamanic journeys again today, after a long pause of almost 3 years. I felt guided to stop journeying while i was pregnant with my son and infact until now i haven't wanted to sensing that it wasn't the right time, even though my son is now almost 2 years old. I have been meditating on a regular basis to keep in touch spiritually but today suddenly the time was right to journey again to ask a question and to connect to my spirit helper and teacher on this level again. Each journey in my experience has been filled with magical wisdom, guidance and powerful healing. It is such a pleasure going on these journeys and sitting with what you have seen and felt along the way and allowing yourself time to digest it and understand its many levels.

I use Sandra Ingermans beginners guide to shamanic journeying  because there is a shamanic journey drumming session at the end of the Cd and because occasionally i love revisiting her guidance, wisdom and very gentle intoduction to it all. Have a look at some websites about her here and here.

I was lucky enough to work with a wonderful shamanic healer in London called Kathy Fried when i lived there during my Art Therapy training. I synchronistically ended up living just one road away from her for the two years that we lived in London and the sessions that we did together were so life affirming and healing. She is the most grounded, down to earth yet wholly magical and amazing shamanic healer that you could ever hope to meet. It was a great pleasure to work with her and with the spirits in those sessions with her. I have recently been re reading those journeys and the magic, wisdom and knowledge from those journeys is very special, i would love everyone to have an experience of journeying to meet their spirit helpers and teachers, it is eye opening on many levels and can help you make profound changes in your lives. I have talked in a previous post about shamanism but essentially for me it is working with spirits to help you to heal, move forward in your life, recover lost parts of yourself  and to ask for guidance among other things. To go on a journey is to go to an alternate reality/into the 'dreamtime' to search for anwers/ for help from the spirits.

To get you started it can be helpful to find and make contact with a tree in the world that you are drawn to/feel connected to in some way and imagine this as your starting point in your journeys, it is your spirit tree. As the drumming starts (in order to help you get into the right space and tune out any mental chatter and give you a frame for the journey, as the drum beat changes towards the end of the journey for the call back) you ask aloud the question you have come to ask three times and then you see yourself travelling to your tree by any means that you like. You then just allow things to happen, you go with it ( this can be the hard part, but the more journeys you do the easier it gets) and you can ask anyone who comes into this journey a question or for help or equally you can move away from anyone that you don't want to talk to. It is definately not your imagination at work as the guidance that comes through and what happens on the journeys always answers your questions even if it is in a suprising way and usually goes much deeper than you could ever imagine. It can be helpful to start by working with a shamanic healer in order to help you frame your question, to help you to learn how to journey and also to help you unravel the journey afterwards as it has many levels.

Happy Journeying!

Tuesday, 9 March 2010


Today my morning pages have been filled with thoughts of the Archangel Metatron and the need to tap into the angelic wisdom that he carries. I had a strong impression of a powerful internal energising force or fire, the energy of transformation and forward movement, of personal power and strength, but i needed to look further to see what others had to say.

Diana Cooper, author of "A New Light on Angels", says that Archangel Metatron is currently blazing his gold orange light to help us to step up to the new energy that has been pouring in with the current shift in consciousness. In this interview with Lilou Mace, Diana Cooper talks a little about this shift and there is a wonderful interview of Diana Cooper on the Virtual Life broadcast here given in November 2009 about her life, angels and orbs.

Doreen Virtue also works with angels and angelic wisdom and says that Metatron is a miraculous archangel with time-bending and motivational abilities. "Metatron’s energy is strong and highly focused, like a laser beam. He’s very motivational, and will encourage you to overcome proctastination and to take bold steps forward. He’s also philosophical and can help you understand things like other people’s motivations for action, and why different situations occur."
"He has also been called “the Angel of the Presence.” Metatron records everything that happens on Earth and keeps it in the Akashic records (also known as The book of Life). "Metatron is a fiery, energetic angel who works tirelessly to help Earth’s inhabitants. He acts as an intermediary between Heaven and Earth, since he’s had extensive experience as both a human and an angel. As such, he helps us understand Heaven’s perspective, and to learn how to work with the angelic realm. Metatron has a special place in his heart for children, especially those who are spiritually gifted." From Doreen Virtue’s book Archangels and Ascended Masters.

Archangel Metatron is also said to be able to help you connect to your own truth and higher self if you ask.
Metatron reminds us that everything begins with a thought. This angel sparks our imagination and fuels our own powers of manifestation. How very apt for me right now as i have a few things that i would like to focus on and manifest!

Here is a beautiful guided meditation by Diana Cooper with the archangel Metatron.

Below is another meditation to help you work with the Archangel Metatron:

1. Find a place where you can be quiet and left undisturbed.

2. Sit quietly with the palms of your hands facing up in a receptive position.

3. Imagine that you are breathing in Metatron’s light, see a beautiful orange colour,
and on the out breath sense your aura filling with this energy.

4. Relax as you visualise this orange light glowing round you.

5. Invoke Metatron with the words. ‘I now invoke the mighty Metatron to connect with me and touch me with his light.’

6. Be quiet and still. You may receive a touch, impression, thoughts or whispers or you may simply feel calm.

7. Sense your Stellar Gateway opening wide and  visualise the light from all the stars shining down into it.

8. Allow the light of all the stars in the cosmos to merge and pour down through you into your feet.

9. Let it flow down into your Earth Star chakra and deep into the earth.

10. Then visualise the combined light moving through the leylines in the earth and rising up to pour out of sacred sites and portals all over the planet like wondrous coloured fountains.

11. When you have completed your work, thank Archangel Metatron and open your eyes.

Focus and attention
Spiritual understanding/acceptance of ones spirital gifts by becoming more connected to oneself
Transformation and change

Tap into Metatrons healing and angelic wisdom today

Monday, 8 March 2010

Dreams of being next door

I miss my friends and family, it's just a fact and i feel quite alone sometimes without them even though i have my amazing husband and son, some wonderful friends here who i love and my husbands family. But somehow i need more. I am greedy i know, but i want more options. I want a large support network that i can easily tap into, those friends that i have known for years and love ( not that i don't love the new ones) and MY family. Somehow the idea of them not being here seeing us and my son on a regular basis is overwhelmingly sad. Just not being able to pick up the phone to them on a regular basis or at all because it is a long distance call and they have only mobile phones or to pop down the road, or even to drive a couple of hours to see them when you really need them is just a bummer, there are no two ways about it. I can tell myself that i am sooo lucky to live in a wonderful country, city etc (and i am, i really am)  and that perhaps in the UK i would also feel lonely, that we wouldn't nescessarily have work right now with the current economic crisis and it wouldn't nescessarily be any better. But nevertheless i know that it is familiar, people speak the language i grew up with ( i know Norwegians speak amazing english, but Norwegian is the language of life here and the culture is different, not vastly but it is) and knowing that i never had to be alone, that there would always be someone to call or go and see. I think when you have a child you are thrown so much back on yourself and when you move countries with a baby this can be even more the case, it is at this time that you need your network around you. Don't get me wrong it has been an amazing experience and i do love life here, but occasionally i dream of what it would be like to spend weekends with friends and family without having to wait a year, or to have to get on a plane first.
I don't know whether this is where we will live forever but i know we will probably be here for at least another 2-5 years as my husbands job is such a great place for him to be right now. For me the opportunities work wise are quite limited but this is where the power of manifestaion and timing also must come in (to give me some hope at least) and language learning of course. I am working on it. 
For now i can dream and know that over time my network here will also be strong and that as we find more baby sitters that there will just be more opportunities to join in on many social things and events that are going on that we just can't be a part of right now with a little one. We will then be able to see the friends that we do have here more often. Lastly I can make sure that i am keeping centred, grounded and happy in the small every day moments that makes one feel connected. Hugs with my son, time with my husband, contact with friends, spiritual connection and practices, eating blissful foods, getting out and about to run, to see people, to learn Norwegian and to work. The key for me right now is to manifest more work, now that i am feeling more and more energy and light filled. I have big dreams for it all, but i do know i am currently still in a cocoon of sorts before i can launch and i need to be patient.

On most days just knowing that those friends and family are there is often enough.

Beings of light

Ok i know i am a little obsessed by this theme but i feel its because huge shifts are taking place not just in me but in our collective consciousness as we shift into a new level/higher vibration lots of stuff is coming up to be cleared out and it can be a painful process so i think the more that we can focus on light and light filled thoughts the better and remember that essentially:  

"We are all beings of light,
Just as the sun is the centre of our universe,
radiating its life giving energy down onto the earth,
light is also the substance of man's spirit, his soul,
it is the silent inner spring from which all love, compassion and creativity flows" 

Beings of light
We need not fear the future for we are made of the very essence of the universe.
We are shining stars, cells of a being of light, in or outside of our human bodies. We are love and goodness at our core and it is only our inaccurate seeing that hides this truth.
Sometimes our vision is foggy and we stiffen up, not daring to move. Sometimes a blinding hailstorm pummels us and we just want to take cover. Sometimes the glare of material life draws us like the song of a mythological siren, but it doesn't matter. No matter how we try to deny or hide or escape it, we're still cells in a body of light. There is a quiet centre within us, a cluster of light cells constantly broadcasting to our hearts and our minds " Come take my hand. Be at peace. I am love and i am within you always."  

Sunday, 7 March 2010

My day

I had a lovely day today. A small face in mine roused me from sleep rubbing noses and searching out some skin to kiss, then little legs, arms and feet rolling over me in a ball to reach the floor, before small hands pulling me up coupled with an earnest "Mamaaaa, uppe". Small feet padding along the corridor and arms raised to be carried down stairs, not fully awake or enough to navigate this himself, although quite capable. A happy breakfast with music and the sun pouring in through the window as we had smoothies til our faces were covered and porridge with ground seeds and honey. The sun shining and the call to play with running games and squeals of laughter as small feet took off at "ready" or shouted "go" to instigate another and another and another race ending in a heap and giggles. Papa came to play and then they went sledging in the snow and the sun while mama curled back up into bed for a while to catch up on some lost sleep.  We then swapped as they piled into bed after some lunch ( and later to visit A's grandmother) while i went off to meet a lovely friend and her friend who was over from Paris, both animators and so lovely to be with. We went market shopping in Birkelunden (in Oslo), to drink coffee in a specialist coffee place ( and me to drink in the smell, i adore the smell and admire this place for its dedication to the art of coffeee making and drinking) and drinks at another lovely place ( a bar that sells milkshakes so cool). 

I left them after a while to wander more around this my favourite part of Oslo- Grunnerløkka, and bought quite by chance the most beautiful old enamel cream jug with red trim, reduced from 150 kroner ( about £15 ) to 40 kroner- £4- i love a bargain. ( sadly i can't upload an image of the actual jug)

Then i walked home via the veg and fruit markets in Grønland and bought our food for the week. I came home and cooked up a storm in the kitchen: Susan Jane Murrays Herby Millet Bread:  and a made up Vegetable Lasagna....layers of thin strips of courgette to cover the base of a dish, then a mushroom, spinach and feta mix, then a courgette layer, then sundried tomatoes with the spinach mix on top, courgette layers, real tomatoes, spinach layer then courgette until all was finished. Topped with a drizzle of olive oil. Baked for 20 minutes. I then curled up on the sofa to read ( knowing i had already made some yummy chocolate brownies yesterday for pudding) until the boys got home. We chatted over supper while Theo sat on my lap feeding himself and occasionally me, quick bath time with splashing and maybe a little washing and then small one wrapped in a large fluffy towel, into pyjamas and then snuggling up for stories before lights out and sleep.......a blissful day.

The Shamanic Healing Way

"We are all students; we are all teachers"

"I am seeking, I am seeking
in the drum, the water, the sky,
I am seeking, I am seeking
In the Earth, the air, the chaos and the starry sky
In the seas, the fields, the rocks and mountains high
The truth is coming, the Way revealed.."
Carol Edgar 

In an article called "All life is connected - The Shamans Way", Jonathan Horwitz talks about what Shamanism is:  He starts by saying that the word 'shaman' originally comes from the Evinki people and literally means "the one who knows". A Shaman is someone who is able to contact the spirit world and works with it to help both himself and others. "Central to the understanding of Shamanism and especially shamanic healing is the concept of power. Not power as might, but rather power as energy. Traditionally the shaman sees two main reasons for illness. The patient either has something inside which should not be there, an unwanted power/energy intrusion, or is missing something that should be there i.e power loss. As all things have a spirit or a soul from the shaman's point of view, this holds true for illnesses as well. In the case of a power intrusion it is the shaman's job to remove the spirit of the unwanted power." In his shamanic work Jonathan Horwitz has found over the years "that the main cause of illness is separation, both literally and metaphorically, to the degree that the two words could also be considered synonymous. By separation, i mean being cut off from one's surroundings, loved one or even perhaps especially oneself....." He says that "When you are feeling powerful (full of power) it is when you are in contact with the rest of the universe and being filled with that power there is no room for illness. It means that you are listening to spirit/your intuition or trusting. Conversely he says that one of the greatest symptoms of power loss is lack of trust, while fear is another.

Jonathan Horwitz says that "for thousand of years, shamans have known that one of the major causes of illness and other forms of imbalance in our world is 'soul loss', the loss of some part of ourselves. The Shaman asks the spirits- guides, teachers and helpers for help and advice and sometimes to find and bring back home this soul part to reunite it with the physical body. This work is called 'soul retrieval'. The shaman knows that all things created have soul and therefore knows that it is possible to communicate with these other spiritual essences by journeying to them. The shamanic journey is a journey of the soul. " And it one that we can all learn to do for ourselves. Initially perhaps with the help of a shaman and then increasingly on our own.

Kathy Fried is an incredible Shaman who lives and works in London. I worked with her during my art therapy studies and the journeys that i went on in those sessions were incredibly powerful. Kathy is refreshingly down to earth and grounded yet she is also an incredible healer. She has the warmest heart and it was very special to be able to work with her and the spirits in those sessions. describes so perfectly what i do in terms of energy medicine healing that uses shamanic techniques that i will let her speak for me today:

"We all have a luminous energy field/aura which is a subtle energy body that surrounds the human body. It contains information related to our health. Emotional, genetic and karmic history can organize energy and this energy can be apparent in our energy fields. Sometimes the energy can leave dense or heavy imprints in the field which can express as disease in the human body. The healing work that i do can help to release these heavy energies from the past and clear imprints, allowing the body to re-pattern towards health and healing.

Once this energy is released and blocks are removed, the body can begin to bring in more light and move into deeper levels of healing. I generally do not know fully where the energy healing session will go before the session starts i am guided by Spirit through the session to do the work that is needed for that person at that time. Sessions may include removal of energies (extractions), return of essential energies to the body (soul retrievals), healing of ancestral or generational wounds and patterns, or healing of karmic wounds. Heavy energies are energies that do not serve us well and can essentially "clog" the energy field and affect our health and well-being. These heavy energies may have been caused by past traumas or painful experiences and/or may be genetic or karmic in nature. When the heavy energy is released, the body feels lighter and clearer and can perform better. It is similar to a computer with too much unnecessary information. When the unnecessary information is removed or "cleaned up", the computer functions much more efficiently, and as it was intended to function.

An extraction can remove heavy energy or blocks. Sometimes energies can "crystallize" and become embedded in the energetic field and body. This can begin to manifest in the physical, emotional and mental bodies as disease and not feeling well. An extraction can also remove an intrusive energy or entity that is fluid and moves throughout the body.

A soul retrieval helps you to regain an essential part of yourself, or essential energy, which was lost or fled or was splintered off at some point in your life. Many of us have experienced energy loss to some degree throughout our life. Soul retrievals can be powerful pieces of work and can be particularly powerful for those who have gone through traumatic experience.

Some people feel changes and/or shifting in the energy field during a session, however, others may just feel a deep sense of release, relaxation and/or peace. It depends on various factors including the work being done. Sometimes the process facilitates an experience of visual images, colors, or memories which may be related to what is being worked on. Generally speaking, you will most likely feel lighter and/or clearer immediately after a session and will feel a difference in the quality of your health. Other positive shifts may also occur in the period following the session, which may include shifts in your physical, emotional and/or mental health as well. "

Friday, 5 March 2010

The Little Soul and the Sun

"The Little Soul and the Sun"  is a wonderful children's parable, adapted from the book "Conversations With God", by Neale Donald Walsch. I feel that it has a beautiful message about who we are, for everyone. 

Here is a wonderful review of the book taken from Amazon:

"This beautiful story is illustrated in lavish pastels by Frank Riccio, and features a parable about Little Soul--one who wants to experience itself as Who I Am. You see, Little Soul knows that it is Light--but feels that knowing isn't enough. So Little Soul asks God if it can actually feel what is means to be the Light. So God asks Little Soul how it can experience the Light when it is already as a candle in the Sun, along with the other billions of souls who make up the brilliance of the Sun? Little Soul entreats God to think of something--some way in which it can experience what it feels like to be Light.

God answers Little Soul "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we'll surround you with darkness." Little Soul asks "What's darkness?" and God replies "It is that which you are not." Little Soul asks God if it will be afraid, but God says "only if you choose to be...there is nothing, really, to be afraid of, unless you decide that there is."

One of the central themes of "Conversations with God" is that in order for God to experience Itself, it had to be contrasted with something else, something "other". You cannot experience dark without light, up without down, now without then, fast without slow. The purpose of duality is to experience parts of the God-self in all its glory. In a sense, we are all a part of God, and God exploded into a million Souls to experience Itself.

However, when we made the journey Earthward, we forgot where we came from and who we were. The Little Soul and God continue the conversation, and talk about how everyone is special in their own way, each manifesting a different part of "special". Some parts of special include kindness, creativity, and patience. Little Soul decides that the part of "special" it wants to experience is the part of special known as forgiveness. A multitude of Souls gather around God and Little Soul to hear this extraordinary conversation, and God sweeps an arm towards them: "There is nothing to forgive" God says. Little Soul could hardly believe what God said. "Everything I have made is perfect. There is not a single soul in all of creation less perfect than you. Look around you."

Little Soul grumbles that this wasn't fun at all! How would it experience itself as One Who Forgives if there was noone to forgive? Just then, Friendly Soul offers to help him, volunteering to come into Little Soul's next lifetime so it can do something for Little Soul to forgive. Little Soul was incredulous, and aks why Friendly Soul, who was such a magnificent Being of perfect Light, would want to become dense and dark, slowing it's vibration in order to do this bad thing for Little Soul to forgive? "Simple", The Friendly Soul replies. "I would do it because I love you." Friendly Soul goes on to explain that both it and Little Soul have been male and femaile, good and bad, victim and villian, All of It. "Thus have we come together, you and I, many times before; each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to Express and to Experience Who We Really Are."
In being the "bad one" this time around, Friendly Soul will give Little Soul the opportunity to experience itself as One Who Forgives. Friendly Soul becomes serious and confirms that it will have to become dense and dark to do this act and that both it and Little Soul may forget Who They Were. Friendly Soul asks Little Soul a favor: to remember, in the moment that it strikes and smites Little Soul, doing the worst that it can possibly imagine, that Little Soul will remember Who Friendly Soul Really Is.

An agreement was made, and Little Soul goes forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, and to experience that part of "special" called Forgivness. "...whenever a new soul brought joy or sadness--and especially if it brought sadness--the Little Soul thought of what God had said. 'Always remember', God had smiled, 'I have sent you nothing but angels.'"

My favorite passage of the book, which is the major theme of the New Age, is:

 "And so", God concluded, "when you are surrounded with darkness, do not shake your fist and raise your voice and curse the darkness. Rather, be a Light unto the darkness, and don't be mad about it. Then you will know Who You Really Are, and all others will know, too. Let your Light so shine that everyone will know how special you are!"

Take a look at The Little Soul and the Sun's - official trailer, the DVD excerpt and the book

 Let your light shine

Monday, 1 March 2010

Be Bold

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness, concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas & splendid plans: that moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents & meetings & material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power & magic in it. Begin it now.” - Goethe

Risking change awakens our ability to see. "We only have to risk opening the door. Sometimes we have no idea where we are going, in what direction or for how long. But that’s the risk we have to take if we want to become more, see more and understand more of our self." (Karen Wallace, Art Therapist). We have to trust which takes courage and let ourselves be in a place of 'not knowing', only then can we truly start to see and move towards the realisation of our hopes and dreams. It can allow for new possibilities, to explore new experiences and become aware of new talents and gifts.

Karen Wallace says that it can help to ask ourselves:
  • How does it feel to take a big risk?
  • What are some of your fears when you took a risk or started something new?
  • List your beliefs about yourself.
  • What could you risk changing on this list?
  • What would be the cost of taking this risk?
  • What would be the benefit of taking this risk?
Fear can be powerful in its ability to suppress, suffocate and hold you back. It can cause indecision, procrastination and stagnation, but it can also highlight where you most need healing and movement. Paradoxically focusing on the fear, delving deeper into it and exploring it instead of trying to push it away or running from it can bring it to light and often resolve the root cause of your fear and your paralysis. You can be released from it sometimes just by shining a light on it.

It can also help to see FEAR as:


and change it into:


Fear has the effect of drawing in our auras and therefore our light, but what we most need when we feel afraid is to project our auras out expanding our light and therefore widening our protection.
Standing in our light and in our power is what helps us to grow and to move forward through our fears, but sometimes we need help to do this.

During my early teens when i was feeling very disconnected and ill at ease in the world and in my own body and being and therefore experiencing a lot of fear and paralysis in different forms i remember an incredible experience that began to change the way that i viewed myself and the world.
I cannot remember now exactly when it happened, even what year it was but i know it came after i asked for help calling from the bottom of my heart. I remember i was reading in bed late at night at my parents house, but despite the gentle nature of the book i started to feel an intense unease and then suddenly wave upon wave upon wave of fear rolling in and crashing down on me. I could see this in an energetic form and i could feel the fears intensely, every fear from the smallest to the largest that i had ever had. It felt like i was having to face my worst fears in life in a way that meant that i could not run from them, i had no choice but to experience each one in full in a myriad of different ways as i lay there. But within this intense and overwhelming experience i slowly began to feel that i could handle them and whatever fears i had began to dissolve in front of me, slowly melting into nothing and as they did i felt fully released from them. At the same time i began to feel the energy completely shift within the room and as the physicality of the room began to vibrate and expand so did i, so that i was no longer just my body, but connected to so much more. I felt and saw light pouring into the space around me and within me and the most incredible all encompassing love of the deepest kind came with it. It filled every part of me and there was nothing beyond it but waves upon waves of love and i felt i was being carried up and out on it.
The room slowly expanded filling with beings of light in front of my eyes, angels forming circles without end around me, and each one was pulsing with energy which changed from green, to pink to yellow to pure white light, all colours of the rainbow as far as the eye could see and i felt lifted up on the love that poured through everything, through every part of me, it was the deepest most all encompassing love and the room that has expanded beyond imagination was pushed completely out of view. There was no beginning and no end and i knew with absolute certainty that i was loved for every part of me that i was, that had been and that would be. I had always been loved and i always would be loved. I was part of the divine, connected and whole as i had always been (as we all are) and the angelic beings would always be there for me. I knew in that moment that i could let go of the world and go with them if i chose to, that i could come completely out of body, but something in me pulled me back and i knew that i couldn't go yet, there was something i needed to stay for and as i felt this i began to feel myself being slowly poured back into my body yet i could see my energy body still pulsing with light and energy. The room slowly came back into being at the same time yet the angels remained and so did this intense feeling of love, healing and the knowledge that i was connected to the divine. I knew at a deep level that i was ok and i felt a huge weight had been lifted leaving me feeling completely at peace and held by love until long after i went to sleep. It was an experience that i cannot do justice to in written form but it is one that will never leave me and i have always been able to tap back into, when i remember.

It opened my eyes again and sowed the seeds for a deep change, even though it took many years of illness and set backs, it helped to keep me from drowning in it and gave me an anchor and a rememberance of spiritual knowledge that i needed to keep me heading towards health and ultimately vibrating with life.  From this point on i began to see and receive angelic and spiritual help in many different ways. I knew even if i didn't remember it every day or see the angels and spirit guides that they were there and that i was connected to the divine and loved beyond imagining.

You might want to look at this article about Lorna Bryne author of "Angels in my hair" . Her book is a magical and healing one. It reminds us to look below the surface a little more in life to see the magic and the help that is available in angelic form. It is Lornas story about how she has been able to see angels from birth and how she works with them to help others.

Be bold and listen to your fears because by looking closer at what scares us the most we can be given the key to transform what is holding us back. If we can be bold, including asking for help, we can start to attract magic, power and boundless energy.

 “ see life again as a child, to see wonder, the awe, the marvel, the simplicity of the blade of grass.” (Michael Fox) and the magic of life in its entirety, even in our darkest moments, is something to relish and delight in.
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